Everyday events in the capital city

Yes I am married and everyday I am gazed at. Wearing sindoor or a bindi will not help in any way. I feel pathetic when the police commissioner advices the women-to dress up decently. Dressing up decently does nothing to hide the fact that I am a women, rather I think it confirms the fact-that yes I am scared of your gaze, yes I am scared that u might pinch my butt or my boobs and I subjugate my freedom to you.

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I take this occasion to salute Nisha Sharma, the first in our nation, and those who followed her example to stand up against the dowry system. For once I can say-I am proud to be an Indian.

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Menstruation happens once a month & it comes unannounced. The first day of my periods I have severe cramps & am unable to go to work and the next day after I have availed leave for that day I get a memo-telling me I have broken the code of conduct for not getting my leave sanctioned priorly. There is however one provision of avoiding the memo-either I get it sanctioned in advance or I produce a medical certificate from a doctor stating-I was having menstrual cramps so had to take rest. I have been unable to do so till today and there is more to it.
The punishment for availing an unsanctioned leave is to fill a blue form stating why one availed the leave, so I write-having severe menstrual cramps for which I was told by one of the authorities -aren't u ashamed. Yet I am expected to teach my students to be honest.

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I was traveling in a bus one evening, at one stop 3or 4 ladies got on & there was no seat so they were left standing. Sitting two seats behind me were some gentlemen conversing, one of them said arey yeh to e-mail ka female ho gaya! ( from e-mail we have female) the other one responded nahin spam hai(no it is spam).
I believe traveling in bus is definitely a feel good factor for men; rather gentlemen and women use it more as a mode of commuting.

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A new breed of mothers

A baby sitter by definition, is a person who will look after your baby/child for a fixed charge.The child is taken care of and the baby sitter gets her/his due.So anybody-not neccisarily a blood relation, baby sits without obligations.
But that is not the case in India.
Here we do not have baby sitters(hired).Here,for a joint family, we have the mother, father , mother-in-law ,father-in-law ,sister ,sister-in-law ,brother ,brother-in-law and at times the neighbourhood aunty(as all elders in India are called uncle or aunty) to look after the child.That is how it has been ever since women started working. In case of a nuclear family, we do have a full time maid who does the house work + cooking + washing etc. and looks after the child when you go to the office. Full time maids stay with you in your house.No, they do not have a seperate room many times,they spread a sheet in one of the rooms and sleep there once everyone has gone to bed and get up in the morning before anyone wakes up, roll up their bed and get to work.
There are also part time maids,who do a twelve hour shift. 6:00 a.m to 6:00 p.m. or what ever time suits you. They also do all the house work + baby sitting but do not stay at your house. In such cases if one has to go somewhere in the evening then the child is left at the parents/grand parents/relatives place or one of the relations is asked to come over to baby sit. This relation, even if an immediate relation, is never paid anything and in many cases if one is offered it will be taken as on offence."Am I not related to your child in any way that you are paying me?"would be the general reason or "am I your servant?" could be another reason.(But such emotions can be harmful as well.As there are many shameless people who take advantage and call you-not ask you- to perform this ritual everytime they have to go shopping/dinner/partying/parent teacher meeting, etc.) As I have a first hand experience I know how humiliating it is.

The other option for working mothers(nuclear family) is the creche.Many of which are not leaglised.These are managed by elderly women who take care of 5 or 10 children with the help of maids.

Recently I have come across many young mothers who do not have maids niether do they leave the child at the creches but chose to leave the child with their own mothers(as many a times if not a nuclear family the mother-in-law refuses to take care of the baby). So in the morning the husband drives the child at his in-law's house for the day or a party or shopping.And collects the child later.As the maternal grand parents of the child NEVER say no.So much so that couples now a days are buying property near the mother's parents house so it will be convinient for them.
There are some of my female collegues who have left their new born babies with their parents after birth. They go to meet their child on weekends or every evening-without any guilt. When I asked one such mother how can her baby girl(a month old) sleeps at night without her, she told me,"oh ,you know new borns just sleep all the night.She doesn't need me."
This new breed of mothers scares me and saddens me.It scares me for such people are setting examples for others-that it is okay to do such a thing.It saddens me for obvious reasons but more than that it makes me angry to see such ladies everyday,coming dressed up to the office with make up and smiles on their faces.And without any guilt.All this in a nation which boasts about its tradition and culture and only talks about family vaues.

I wonder what individuals such children will become and what feelings they will have for their own parents what kind of family values they will inculcate.