Scene I

The music died she adjusted her neckline.The creases were fresh but she couldn't care less.She started cleaning the table and in her hurry spilled the half filled bottle on the bed."Fuck!"
The fizz was still there in the beer and without effort it spread evenly.In her haste to clear the mess she dropped the ash tray on the bed,spot on the beer."Fucking shit!"she exclaimed.'Could nothing be normal?'she wondered,'just for once'.Cursing aloud helped her calm her nerves.But she did that only when she was alone.Couldn't let anyone hear her.Was against her upbringing.
She kicked the bed and sat on the edge,looking at the mess.She bit her lips and reached out for the cigarette.No,she wasn't addicted to smoking,just made her feel good-the whole act;of taking the cigarette and then lighting the matchstick,cupping the hands,inhaling the smoke,puffing it out.Reminded her of some moment in the past.But what exactly was it,she couldn't recollect.And now it didn't matter.
The neck pained from lying on the sofa for long.She hated any sort of body pain.Anything that slowed her pace,she hated it.And lately she had become very restless.
From some pores in the skin,uncertainty had entered.Many a times she stayed in the moment,but lately she found herself struggling with it.Images flashed in forward and rewind,making her dizzy and nauseate.

Morning musings

The morning drive was the only inspiration to get up and go to work.'Dum maro dum' played on full blast and she wondered what it would be like really to 'maro' a 'dum'.Could it make her forget herself?Why when she had had numerous opportunities,she didn't try it then?What had stopped her?
So many passages she went through,during that half hour drive.Driving gave her a high,at least that pleasure she could have.In between those passages,she enjoyed the drive.How she wished for a miracle,to give wings to the car and fly her away to some place else..............
Sitting in the staff room,she watched all her collegues.Dressed up in all colours and make up.Could anyone of them guess what she was going through?How perfect were their worlds?How did they manage to generate the energy to carry on living,to adorn themselves and walk so tall?What completed their world............
How could a mother detatch herself and be just hersefl?its not that she didn't have a right,but how could she afford it?

Kieślowski in virender nagar

Was a warm winter afternoon that day.Noting unusual about the day or the colony.
It had never happened ever,in the last ten years,that she had stayed over there.For she hated the place-always felt like a misfit in it.Never explored it really,in that sense.Anyways.Lets get back to the sunny afternoon.Or,lets talk about Virender Nagar first.
Its almost like a ghetto-narrow lanes,almost like bylanes.Balconies kissing each other.The sun manouvers through a few slits,one could time the watch looking at the sun in the balcony.It stayed in her east facing house for half an hour,between 10:30-11:00.There is more cement and bricks than the air to breathe.Voices travel inside the bedrooms,uninvited.So the lonliness gets knocked at times.
A very punjabi colony,so to speak.With a few accents-some local some forgien.Afghani and Kenyan,now and then.Bengali too is heard at times.
There is harmony so to speak,just till you want to park your car!All niceities evapourate then.But a warm and friendly place,generally speaking-everybody knows what's happening in your life,who came,who stayed the night,where you come from,etc,etc.
She changed the surroundings abit.Always wore westerns-nothing glamarous,just jeans and T-shirts or skirts,etc.Initially they outcast her,but she never gave up.It was the way she was built.Wore what she felt comfortable in.Gradually all the women her age in her gali,also wore what they liked-jeans,capris.Made her smile often!To see the daughter-in-law all dressed up jazzy and the mother-in-law trying to smile and look the other way!
So much so for the gali and mohallah.
So that winter afternoon,like the one previous to it,she drove in one of them conjusted lanes.
Its a common thing for the elders to park themselves on the edge of the road,inbetween a scooter,a motorbike or a bicycle.Sitting there to soak in the sun.All lanes were filled with the old age,there on the edges.Sitting on the very popular 'Kamal' plastic chairs.They shifted their chairs along the direction of the sun.Thats how they ended up gradually on the crossing.
So,the sun had just hidden,behind one of them buildings.And this old figure got up.Crouching back,extremly white hair,white dupatta,gold round earrings and spectacles.With great effort she got up and held the chair from the back and the car stopped .
Slowly,very slowly,the old figure started moving,dragging the chair along.A step first and then the chair.Step...chair...step...chair....step...
It was the strangest experience.Many atimes she had seen this onscreen.Every time she watched the trilogy-Three colours:Blue,Red and white.It was really strange to see it in real life.
And she froze sitting in her car.Oblivious of the traffic behind her,honking their lungs out.